Books to read when you're sad

One week ago today, I put my sixteen-year-old cat down. His name was Philip Fitzgerald and he was the sweetest boy.

I left the vet feeling absolutely shattered. If I had been in a novel, it would have been a broody, rainy spring day.

But it wasn’t. It was the most beautiful day we’ve had yet this season. Spring famously arrives in swells here in Minnesota, showing up to taunt us before dusting our sprouting flowers with snow (we woke up to a coating of white Sunday morning). It seems that someone — perhaps my beloved Philip — decided to make the day bright and sweet for me; the kind of day you’d associate more with a meet-cute than a death.

It was 75 degrees and sunny, and I didn’t have to work the rest of the day. The only option for me on this nice day after a horrible vet visit was to read in the sun. (The way I put it to my husband was: “I’m going to go dissociate on the deck with a book.”)

At that time, I was near the end of Biography of X, but this occasion called for something else. Remember how I painstakingly selected books to bring with me on spring break, then stupidly got distracted by a book that did not deliver? I went back and chose one of those books. I knew it had a good chance of making me smile.

Finally, I was right. It was exactly what I needed that terrible, beautiful day.

Below, some book ideas for when you’re sad.

1) An uplifting romcom

The Mash Up by Laura Marie Meyers

This is the one I spent hours dissociating in the sun with. I read 100 pages uninterrupted, which is exactly what you want to do when reading it. It’s very specifically for nineties kids (primarily girls) but my guess is that anyone can enjoy the kaleidoscopic world this author created. The premise is so fun: on her 35th birthday, Ruby’s best friend procures an old MASH game they’d done in middle school. After a non-injurious fall, Ruby wakes up in the world she’d selected in that MASH game all those years ago.

With Lisa Frank trapper-keepers, Gushers, Capri Suns, and butterfly clips, Meyers takes readers to nostalgic universe that’s straight out of Millennial women’s memories. There are mentions of Devon Sawa, Tiger Beat magazine, and inflatable furniture. It’s intoxicating. By the second page, the book had already done its job for me: I smiled. Plus, as a romcom, I knew it would have a happy ending.

2) An emotionally wrecking book

Let me explain!

Several weeks ago, before driving to a hospital to visit a loved one (this person is okay now, by the way) I opened Spotify and searched for a sad mix. I needed a cathartic release. I had been holding in my tears for too long and knew that a sad song would push me over the edge. Twenty minutes later, when I arrived at the hospital, I had adequately processed what I was experiencing and was able to enter the hospital tear-free.

A sad book for a sad time could actually be helpful, like the Spotify playlist was for me. I love a well-timed emotionally wrecking book, and had it not been a jolly 75 degrees and sunny the day I put Philip down, I may have opted for something in this genre instead.

Two wrecking books I’ve read this year and suggest (if you feel up for it) are:

• Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin | This is a nice sad book because it’s not devastating, but, if you’re already in a sad place, it may gently encourage the tears to come.

• Heart the Lover by Lily King | Am I always talking about this? I think I’m always talking about this. It moved me to the point of falling asleep crying, though, so it’s worth bringing up at every opportunity. Plus, this:

3) A re-read of a favorite book

Even though I’ll be the first to argue that re-reads can feel so different from the first read that it almost seems like a new book altogether, the benefit of re-reading something is that there will be no surprises. You may have forgotten about some of the book, sure, but my guess is you would remember if, let’s say, a pet dies. There’s a safety that comes with the familiar. As adults, we probably don’t go hug our baby blankets or favorite stuffies in search of comfort, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have emotional support objects, like our favorite books.

Books I’d re-read when feeling sad are:

• Same As It Ever Was by Claire Lombardo | This is a super long book but it’s funny, smart, and written by an absolute pro. You know you’re in safe hands when reading one of Claire’s books. I’ve read her first book, The Most Fun We Ever Had, twice and the second time was better than the first.

• Anything Ferrante | Raise your hand if you’re surprised. (If you’re new here, hi! I’m Kolina and I really, really love Elena Ferrante.)

4) A not-at-all-similar-to-your-life thriller

The only other route I might have considered during my sad sad day (lol, I say it as if I’m not sad now, I am!!!!) than those mentioned above is a juicy thriller; something unrealistic and unlikely to happen in your life, but something you can’t put down because you have to find out what happens.

I don’t read a ton in this genre, but two thrillers I especially enjoyed are:

• Everyone Is Lying to You by | This was one of those situations where my hold came in at the library and I dropped what I was reading so I could gulp this down. It was so fun, so thrillery, and so of-the-times.

• The Maidens by Alex Michaelides | I love-hated this book, but the reason it’s on this list is because it enraptured me and took me out of my real life and into this weird, not-at-all-similar-to-my-life scenario.

We are sad for different reasons and we read for different reasons. For me, The Mash Up was the way to go the day I put sweet Philip down. But any of these other options would have been good contenders, too.

Tell me:

• What do you do when you’re heartbroken? Do you dissociate by watching bad TV? Head to the bar and drink gallons of beer? If you were to read a book in the sun, what genre would you opt for?

• What books would you add to the above lists?

• How have you grieved a pet? So far I’ve journaled about Philip, printed off a few dozen photos of him, placed a framed photo on the mantel, and hung a pet memoriam wind chime, framed a different photo and put it on my bookshelf. And I’ve cried and cried. I’m blatantly, openly grieving rather than keeping quiet, and I think it’s the healthy move for me.

Thanks for reading! Love, Kolina

- What are you reading? What are you underlining?
- What I’m reading: The Life List by Lori Nelson Spielman

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